I’m not going to claim this to be anything thought provoking, profound, or in the least bit theologically captivating, I simply want to share my day…
I awoke this morning at 3:30am. Not because I couldn’t sleep, I was supposed to be up and at work at 4am. Its a vast understatement to say I was not excited about having such an early start. On one hand God has given me a job which is a huge answered prayer…so who am I to complain... Buuuut on the other hand…IT’S 4AM!!! Nonetheless I was up, dressed, and in my car headed down the hill towards work.
I’ll be honest, there was some grumblin’, complain’ and all around “whoa is me” going on…but then...God winked ;)
***God Wink= a term from a wise and wonderful woman of God, Gina Kingston, for when God acts or moves in your life in such a way you know He is talking specifically to you. That, “Hey Kid remember me? GOD? Don’t you know I Am…and you’re not!” (latter part Jessica Paraphrase)***
So back to the 4am God wink, - btw (by the way) did you even know that God was awake at 4am? I guess the east coast does, but apparently HE is awake on the west coast too! So I’m rollin’ down the hill, annoyed at life, when I see Beth approaching me at the 3-way stop. Yay Beth! I forgot I was opening with Beth. I love Beth…BUT THEN…it starts…my song! MY SONG! It comes on the radio. Now I know everyone has a song, but understand this is THE song of all songs to my spirit and my soul. All that's within me swells up and sings with overwhelming love and admiration for God every time I hear it. In an instant I'm standing at the throne of God, singing to my Creator, with all I have to offer (which is very little). In a moment’s time, God calls me to Himself and I am sitting at His feet, reminded of all He has done in my life. And who introduced me to this song? BETH. WINK!!!
As I followed behind Beth to the Bucks, I sang with all I had. The harder I praised Him the more I was reminded HE IS GOD and this GOD LOVES ME! (even at 4am). By the time we pulled into the parking lot, all thoughts of frustration and general annoyance with time had completely dissolved. As I got out of the car Beth shared in my joy since she too was listening to it and she knows how much I love it. The morning went by in a flash. My joy continued throughout the day, from my very refreshing power nap after work and through class.
But God does not just bless, He tends to over bless!
It was about 4PM that afternoon when Beth called to say she would like to come by and play and sing - and then she did it - she sat in the lobby of my dorm and played "How can I keep from Singing", my song. It has been 2 ½ years since I have heard her and let me just say… well I can’t “just” say…
I cannot explain what overcame my soul. My morning experience was merely a foretaste to the blessing God had in store for me. As I sat there absorbing what my friend was singing over me, the truth and honesty of the words echoed throughout my heart. The Spirit of God filled the room and straight to my soul. I could not help but be extremely humbled by the perfection of the moment. Funny thing was Beth was playing on probably the most out-of-tune piano I have ever encountered, had the BCM’s beaten by a long shot. But it was perfect! Here I was, sitting with my friend who I have not really seen for quite sometime, but still my only connection to home, but in CALIFORNIA! IN SEMINARY! All God had done for me, to me, and through me, not just over the past few weeks but over a lifetime, ran across my mind in a flash. Right then I knew all I had been through and all I had experienced had been perfectly, divinely planned out just for little ‘ole me to be right where I was… exactly where God wants me to be. My Spirit soared and I was at peace.
The evening continued with much joy and peace. I had an excellent evening in Bible study with college students. There we discussed Ruth and Naomi. I could not get over how we focused on Naomi’s acknowledgement of God’s control in her life…good or bad, God was in control.
As I drove back to Mill Valley and GG campus, I pondered over my day, thanking God for His amazing and sustaining presence throughout. But as I turned onto Seminary Drive it hit me. A new feeling, one I have not experienced since being in California. I was not just driving to a strange place that I am visiting. I’m not a stranger or a visitor to Marin County. I’m a resident. I was navigating the roads like I had been on them a 1,000 times. It was like an old habit for me to turn towards…well …its not yet "home"… I don’t know when or if I will ever be able to say this is "home"… but I’m not a visitor. My God is here. More so He has called me here. He is holding me and completely in control of everything. This is my life: Golden Gate, Mill Valley, Marin County, California. From the big stuff like a 2500-mile cross-country drive to the little stuff like song selection on the radio… HE IS GOD and…well…I am not… I rest in that - In Him! It leaves me asking How can I keep from singing?

There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
i hear the music ring
And though the storms may come
i am holding on
To the Rock I cling
How can i keep from singing Your praise
How can i ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can i keep from shouting Your name
i know i am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing
i will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For i know my Savior lives
And i will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give
How can i keep from singing Your praise
How can i ever say enough; How amazing is Your love
How can i keep from shouting Your name
i know i am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing
i can sing in the troubled times
Sing when i win
i can sing when i lose my step
And fall down again
i can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
i can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When i call to You in prayer
i can sing with my last breath
Sing for i know
That i'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne
How can i keep from singing Your praise
How can i ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can i keep from shouting Your name
i know i am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing